TIRED OF CHANGE!!!

I never thought I’d ever say this, but I’m actually at a point in my life where I can say with all honesty and sincerity and without being ungrateful for what I have that I’m tired of change! Three years ago, I wouldn’t have said something like this, because I didn’t think it was possible to develop an aversion to change, but after having gone through so many transitions during the past two years, my prayers and wishes went from praying and hoping for a change to praying and wishing for stability, because change and instability have come to be synonymous terms to me, although I’m aware that they are not one and the same thing technically speaking.

During the course of last week, my husband was offered employment by a private security company that provides security and protection services to its clients. It doesn’t compete with the business of his current employer, which is into the business of security solutions. Security solutions and services is not one and the same thing. Security solutions deal with the installation of cameras, alarms, and tracking devices, while security services involve the protection of people and their property.

After thinking about it a lot and having considered many factors which I will not mention here as that can come down to the violation of the confidentiality clause which my husband has signed with his current employer, my husband decided to accept the offer, and yesterday he handed in his resignation letter.

This means that we have to look for other accommodation during the days and weeks to follow, and to me, that’s a tedious job! However, it’s not half as bad as having to move!

Although moving is tiring, that’s not the only thing about it that concerns me. Besides us having to adapt to our new environment and my husband’s new working hours, we also have children who will be affected ONCE AGAIN by this transition. The eldest, who is eight years old, is currently staying with my parents due to the transport issues we had when she went to grade 1 last year, and we don’t want to disrupt her by having her move in with us while we’re still in the process of getting on our feet and stabilizing, so she won’t be affected as badly as her brother. He’s four now and has just settled into a great English preschool here in Fourways. Now we have to find him a pre-school to which he can go so that he will be properly stimulated during the day, which means that we’ll have to keep asking and looking around as we don’t know the vicinity where my husband will be working, and thus, we don’t know of a good preschool to which we can send him which will be close to the place to which we will be moving so he can settle in as soon as possible after our move to the new home. Of course, there is also the transportation to and from his preschool which is a matter of grave concern to me. I can’t have him transported by uber every day, so I hope to God someone can help me find transport facilities appropriate for the transportation of your child.

I know that we have to find a place to rent first before worrying about my son’s future preschool and his transportation to and from the preschool, but these thoughts worry me nevertheless. What frustrates me even more is that I’m not sure where to start asking for help, so I feel powerless to do anything about this. I’m not saying that there’s no hope though. I’m just saying that not knowing where to start makes me feel powerless.

I guess all of this means that it’s off to yet another freaking change in our lives for us! I’m not mad at my husband for taking the offer though. I’m really just sick of not knowing more or less what the near future holds for us. I know that none of us can say for sure what tomorrow holds or if we’ll live to see the next day, but from experience, I’ve learnt that it helps a lot to know that at least someone in the family has a stable and steady job and that there are little prospects of future financial difficulty which might require restructuring and retrenchments. It really does make a difference, because it gives you and your children a stable platform to function and develop.