A GOOD HEART FOR CHOOSING A BLIND LIFE PARTNER?

Yesterday, I was heavily offended and ticked off by a comment left on one of my husband’s facebook posts about me where he just expressed his love for me and how thankful he is that we are hapily married. The comment basically comes down to the statement that my husband has a good heart because he married a blind woman.

It was not the first time someone said this to him. Recently while he was visiting a sight at work, he was told the same thing.

I guess that day just wasn’t a day to say something like that to him, because he replied, asking the guy who said that how he could arrive at such a prejudiced conclusion. He then explained that marrying a blind person can’t and doesn’t define how “good” or “bad” your heart is, because there are some sighted folks who take blind partners for reasons that have nothing to do with love, care, and the desire to be with their mate for the rest of life. To them, picking a blind life partner is for selfish gain, such as the desire to be praised by people for having a good heart or being a good person, or even because they think it gives them an opportunity which they won’t have when married to someone with sight: it allows them to keep cheating while being married.

To some sick men, it’s about satisfying their need for power and their unquenchable desire to control someone else. I know many blind people will probably hate me for saying this, but it simply can’t be denied that those who are like that may see an opportunity for taking sole control of someone’s life, for example, by first luring that blind person into a relationship with him, and then isolating her from the rest of the world in ways that wouldn’t be possible for him if he had a sighted partner. One of the ways in which he can do this is to systematically make her dependant on him for transportation. Once she’s in a relationship with him, he is in a position to control where and when she goes. He can hide or take away her phone so that she can’t call a cab, having the peace of mind that she would never be able to obtain a driver’s lisence and so get away from him.

Conduct such as the examples I give above doesn’t exactly sound like someone marrying a blind person because he/she has a good heart, does it? I don’t think so. Moreover, I don’t understand how people can judge the goodness of others just by looking at the disability of the partners they choose. It doesn’t make sense to me!

Or wait! maybe it says something — not about the person whose heart is being judged or his/her partner, but about yourself. Doesn’t that indicate that you merely judge people from what you see on the outside without having all the facts together? Could it be possible that people’s disabilities make you decide whether or not you want to associate with them?

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MOTHERLY IMPATIENCE

Today is the last day of the second school term in South Africa. Usually, when the schools close for the school holidays, we go to my mother’s on the last day of the week to fetch our daughter, but this won’t be happening this weekend due to my husband’s obligations and duties at work. He will be working this weekend, including tomorrow, so there goes our plans to have her with us for the entire school holiday! L

Seeing that I have no work to do for any clients from home, entertaining her and spending some quality time with her during the day while my husband is working and her little brother is attending preschool wouldn’t have been a problem for me at all! I was really looking forward to doing exactly that for the entire school holiday, and it’s really not as if we don’t need some mother-daughter time together!

Not only do I feel disappointed; I’m also impatient to see her, because I really miss her! This only builds upon my impatience.

On top of that, my little brother is turning eighteen tomorrow, so we won’t be able to celebrate his special day with him. True, at that age, teens want their friends around, but it would’ve been so nice to see him face to face and wish him a happy birthday where he is able to physically see me and return my hugs.

I guess I just have to get over it, hey? Because it won’t help me to complain about it. I think you can understand my frustration, disappointment, and motherly impatience though …